Wednesday, 24 May 2017 – VATICAN CITY
Pope Francis greeted Donald Trump today in his private study on the third floor of the Apostolic Palace and posed for a photo op with the U.S. President and his wife and daughter—along with several unexpected apparitions that were unseen by the naked eye but appeared in the photograph and were audible to photographer, Marco Mezzasalma—according to a statement made by an anonymous Vatican interpreter.
“Mr. Mezzasalma had set up for the photoshoot,” the interpreter told 336 Journal over the phone. “And then he raised the camera to his eye and said ‘say, cheese’ in English. Immediately, three childish voices could be heard saying, ‘sfigato,’ ‘stronzo,’ and ‘coglione.’ At that moment, I heard one of the Swiss Guards in the room gasp and whisper to another, ‘The American President has stolen the Pope’s smile!’ And then, Mr. Mezzasalma shrieked at what he saw on the screen of his camera, crossed himself, and started to flee from the room before he was tackled by the Swiss Guards.”
After the room was cleared, the Pope spoke privately with Trump for 30 minutes. According to Reuters, it has been reported that Francis gave Trump a small sculptured olive tree and told him through the interpreter that it symbolized peace.
“It is my desire that you become an olive tree to construct peace,” the Pope said, speaking in Spanish.
Trump responded: “We can use peace.”
Francis also gave Trump a signed copy of his 2017 peace message: “Nonviolence – A Style of Politics for Peace” and a copy of his 2015 letter on the need to protect the environment from the effects of climate change.
“Well, I’ll be reading them,” Trump said.
The Vatican and the White House have denied the presence in the photograph of a pair of girls resembling the twins from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining; a boy that appears to be Damien from the movie, The Omen; and a dead ringer for Harry Potter’s nemesis, Voldemort—in a nun’s habit.
Marco Mezzasalma has mysteriously vanished.
The author wishes to let the reader know that all words in this article written in italics come from the satirical universe next door. The rest of the words are true inasmuch as the reader wishes to believe in the accuracy of the reporting by mainstream media.
Please follow 336 Journal on Facebook.
Sharing, liking, comments, and other acknowledgements are greatly appreciated by the author.